True feelings!

Those moments when you sit in your room all alone thinking of everything that happened to you woundering how you go from a happy mood to a rerrible depression wanting death and blood. I sit thinking what it would be like to hurt my self with a knife so I try it when I get home watching the blood flow slowly down my arm them drip on the floor then I wounder why havent I ever tried this before. Then I remembered I never had alone time like i do now then I start thinking about what it would be like to do some easier burns so I sit in class at school i take an easier and just go back and forth I start slowly and softly then I keep putting pressure more and more intell I cant take it in tell I I start bleeding then the blood just flows right down my arm. People may say theres something wrong with me but truth is there is theres alot wrong with me but instead of people helping me or talking me threw they cut me down they tell me everyday to go mill my self that im a peace of shit well guess what your the peace of shit for letting me down for not being there not being a true friend and for not being a loyal person so fuck you ill take on this battle so what I may get scars but I sure in the hell will win by the time its over because imna fighter not a quiter! So stand up to those people who are bullying you and taking you down hold it in show them that it doesnt hurt you even though it does what tell you fet home because if you dont it will never stop youll get it everyday and eventually you will lose control and the power when your doing self harm ive been there and its terrfying I never wanna go back but I know some day I will!!!

I feel so empty and lost im loosing my mind im a failure a fuck up like everyone says I just want to give up and leave but I cant because I dont want to hurt my faimly and theres something inside making me stay om just drained idk what to do anymore! :’(